Hi my friend! How are you? How is 2023 treating you so far? I just returned from the frozen north and a trek to Juneau, Alaska to visit one of my dearest and life-long friends for a few days. Boy was that refreshing for my heart and soul!
On returning to sunny Carlsbad, CA I dove right in to my entrepreneurial life where in any given moment I’m juggling 2-5 (or more) balls related to my many on-going projects. Planning destination retreats, managing my nonprofit, coaching my clients, and preparing to launch a brand new 200-hour yoga teacher training this year…
and I found myself confronting my furry little pack of Gremlins once again. The Doubt Gremlin, The Unworthiness Gremlin, and the Fear Gremlin all decided to rear up and hold a little party in my head.
What I’ve come to understand is that we all have these same doubts and fears. We all deal with them, or avoid them, or allow them to run amok in our lives.
So, I decided to revisit a blog I shared back in 2021 about Gremlin Taming 101.
Here you go!
Quote "There is only one thing that makes a dream impossible to achieve. Fear of failure." Paulo Coelho.
What is your wildest dream? Why aren't you going for it? I bet I can guess...FEAR. Fear of failing. Fear of not being ready. Fear of not being good enough. Fear of letting go of your comfort zone.
You see FEAR is the Number 1 reason people don't pursue their dreams. It is the reason so many people go to take their last breath and say "I wish I had only...." (and those dots are not filled in with the words worked more, bought more crap, or worried more).
So how do you deal with that big, nasty FEAR gremlin?
First, you need to get to know it. Like give it a name. Maybe yours is named Worry Wart or Doubting Donna or just Bob.
Next, you need to sit with it and have a chat. Find out where it originates from (somewhere in your past is most likely the answer) and get to know it's back story. Listen to all of its reasons for staying small and safe. Thank it for trying to protect you.
Then, tell that little fear gremlin about your dream. Paint a really awesome and amazing picture for it of how GREAT things could be if you pursued it. Make it as tangible and detailed as you possibly can. Tell your gremlin that you are a grown up and you've got this. Tell it that you both owe it to YOU to become the most fabulous and satisfied version of yourself that you can possibly be.
Now one thing I know about gremlins is that they have a very short attention span and memory. So get ready to have this little chit chat a few times as you move forward. Each time you do, make that dream story so irresistible that you just have to do it! Tell yourself that you were put here to do great things. Surround yourself with other people who are doing the same and who encourage you to be a Gremlin Taming Master!
Why Failure is GOOD for Success
As a recovering perfectionist I've spent a lot of my life avoiding failure. If I just don't do it, then I won't ever get caught looking foolish when I fall.
When I started doing yoga I used to tell myself a little story about why I didn't need to try to do the arm balance called crow pose (you literally are balancing on your hands with your legs propped up on your arm bones). It went like this. "I don't need to do poses like that to prove that I'm a real yogi. Those are just circus tricks. I'll just sit here safely with my feet on the ground and wait until the teacher moves onto the next pose."
But what my little fear gremlin was really saying was, "I'm afraid to fall flat on my face and look like an idiot."
It wasn't until much farther along my yoga journey that I learned that it's just part of the process to fall 10 times before you succeed. And that when you master a pose like crow, it is so much more than just a physical accomplishment. In the falling and failing you learn to refine your technique and your approach. And on the day that you finally get it, you learn how strong you are not just on the outside but on the inside.
Einstein said it best, "If you've never failed, you've never tried anything new."
So get out there and get messy. Fall on your face. Dust yourself off with a smile and the reminder that with each attempt you are learning something new. Oh, and remember, EVERYONE around you is in the exact same boat (or crow) and is WAY more concerned with how they look than with what you are up to.
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Meet Mary Baker ..LIFE COACH, YOGA TEACHER, MINDFULNESS GUIDE, RECOVERING PERFECTIONIST & PEOPLE PLEASER, FEAR CONQUEROR, TRUTH SEEKER, & DREAM WEAVER