Hi my friend! How are you? How is 2023 treating you so far? I just returned from the frozen north and a trek to Juneau, Alaska to visit one of my dearest and life-long friends for a few days. Boy was that refreshing for my heart and soul!
On returning to sunny Carlsbad, CA I dove right in to my entrepreneurial life where in any given moment I’m juggling 2-5 (or more) balls related to my many on-going projects. Planning destination retreats, managing my nonprofit, coaching my clients, and preparing to launch a brand new 200-hour yoga teacher training this year…
and I found myself confronting my furry little pack of Gremlins once again. The Doubt Gremlin, The Unworthiness Gremlin, and the Fear Gremlin all decided to rear up and hold a little party in my head.
What I’ve come to understand is that we all have these same doubts and fears. We all deal with them, or avoid them, or allow them to run amok in our lives.
So, I decided to revisit a blog I shared back in 2021 about Gremlin Taming 101.
Here you go!
Quote "There is only one thing that makes a dream impossible to achieve. Fear of failure." Paulo Coelho.
What is your wildest dream? Why aren't you going for it? I bet I can guess...FEAR. Fear of failing. Fear of not being ready. Fear of not being good enough. Fear of letting go of your comfort zone.
You see FEAR is the Number 1 reason people don't pursue their dreams. It is the reason so many people go to take their last breath and say "I wish I had only...." (and those dots are not filled in with the words worked more, bought more crap, or worried more).
So how do you deal with that big, nasty FEAR gremlin?
First, you need to get to know it. Like give it a name. Maybe yours is named Worry Wart or Doubting Donna or just Bob.
Next, you need to sit with it and have a chat. Find out where it originates from (somewhere in your past is most likely the answer) and get to know it's back story. Listen to all of its reasons for staying small and safe. Thank it for trying to protect you.
Then, tell that little fear gremlin about your dream. Paint a really awesome and amazing picture for it of how GREAT things could be if you pursued it. Make it as tangible and detailed as you possibly can. Tell your gremlin that you are a grown up and you've got this. Tell it that you both owe it to YOU to become the most fabulous and satisfied version of yourself that you can possibly be.
Now one thing I know about gremlins is that they have a very short attention span and memory. So get ready to have this little chit chat a few times as you move forward. Each time you do, make that dream story so irresistible that you just have to do it! Tell yourself that you were put here to do great things. Surround yourself with other people who are doing the same and who encourage you to be a Gremlin Taming Master!
Why Failure is GOOD for Success
As a recovering perfectionist I've spent a lot of my life avoiding failure. If I just don't do it, then I won't ever get caught looking foolish when I fall.
When I started doing yoga I used to tell myself a little story about why I didn't need to try to do the arm balance called crow pose (you literally are balancing on your hands with your legs propped up on your arm bones). It went like this. "I don't need to do poses like that to prove that I'm a real yogi. Those are just circus tricks. I'll just sit here safely with my feet on the ground and wait until the teacher moves onto the next pose."
But what my little fear gremlin was really saying was, "I'm afraid to fall flat on my face and look like an idiot."
It wasn't until much farther along my yoga journey that I learned that it's just part of the process to fall 10 times before you succeed. And that when you master a pose like crow, it is so much more than just a physical accomplishment. In the falling and failing you learn to refine your technique and your approach. And on the day that you finally get it, you learn how strong you are not just on the outside but on the inside.
Einstein said it best, "If you've never failed, you've never tried anything new."
So get out there and get messy. Fall on your face. Dust yourself off with a smile and the reminder that with each attempt you are learning something new. Oh, and remember, EVERYONE around you is in the exact same boat (or crow) and is WAY more concerned with how they look than with what you are up to.
So maybe you think you have a pretty solid gratitude practice. You spend time each day giving thanks for the good stuff in your life. Maybe you even keep a journal that you write in each morning or evening. You say “thank you” often to express your gratitude to others. In general, you are a grateful person.
There is, however, a Next Level that you can achieve in the world of gratitude that will even more dramatically change your life. In fact, this practice of Advanced Gratitude, or as I like to call it “As if” Gratitude, will turn you into a MASSIVE MANIFESTOR!
You’ve probably heard me say a time or two that our human brain is wired for negativity. It’s our default setting and part of our basic survival instinct. But, now that we don’t run from sabertooth tigers every day, it tends to spend its time fixating on our mental stressors - one of which is a feeling of lack, or “not enough” syndrome.
Research has proven that a daily gratitude practice lifts us out of the survival or limbic brain and shifts us into our intuitive, higher level thinking brain. Simply put it turns a feeling of lack into a feeling of abundance.
I’m sure you’ve experienced this in your own life. You are feeling down, crappy, and like nothing is going your way and then you pause and think about a person, a pet, or something that happened in your life that was a blessing. Immediately, feel good hormones like dopamine and serotonin are released into the body creating an overall feeling of happiness and suddenly the world doesn’t seem like such a dark and depressing place.
When practiced regularly, gratitude has been clinically proven to improve overall happiness levels and so much more. Click HERE to read some really interesting research findings on practicing gratitude (I love brain research!).
So how do you become a Massive Manifestor?
This next level of “As If” Gratitude taps into that creative, higher thinking brain of yours to bring into your energetic space the feeling of already having the things that you are desiring.
Wishing for a new job? Rather than spending your days mucking about in the feelings of how much you can’t stand your current job, take time each day to sit with the feeling you are seeking in a new job. Create such a powerful mental visualization that you can actually feel it. Do this every single day. Live “as if” the new job is already yours.
Seeking your perfect partner? Again, instead of giving in to the woe-is-me, I’m not good enough, blah blah blah in your limbic brain, spend time each day creating that super powerful mental visualization of how you want to feel in your perfect relationship. Who do you want to be in this relationship? Find it right now with YOU and call up that feeling every single day.
Feeling unhappy with your weight or lack of fitness? Rather than allowing your negative brain to feed you self-defeating thoughts, cultivate that “as if” feeling for how you want to look and feel about yourself. Create a powerful mantra such as “I am healthy and active and feel good in my body”. Repeat it every time your self-defeating thought pops into your head. Then, put on your walking shoes and go move your body while you listen to an inspiring podcast! One I am LOVING is “Earn Your Happy” by Lori Harder. You can find her on Spotify.
I’m currently putting my Advanced Gratitude into practice with the upcoming 200-hour Yoga Teacher Training I’m launching this spring with my friend and fellow yoga teacher, Geanette Floyd. A 200-hour training is no joke! It’s a lot of work and a huge time commitment. Rather than letting my limbic brain come up with all the reasons and ways things could go wrong, I’m “as if” manifesting a full and successful training with amazing yogis who not only develop into terrific teachers, but who also form deep and meaningful connections with each other and a much deeper connection with themselves, too!
You ready to turn up that gratitude dial? Give my “As if” practice a try and let me know how it works for you!
Are you living life from the sidelines? Just a character in a random story feeling powerless and unworthy?
If you answered yes, sort of, or sometimes…I certainly can relate, my friend. You see I spent a whole lot of my life as just a character in everyone else’s stories. Doing my best to fit in, be accepted, be loved and morphing into whatever and whoever I felt I needed to be to fit the role. I made decisions based on what I felt others wanted of me or I just went along with the advice of those I thought surely knew better than I did.
What this led to was feeling completely unfulfilled, exhausted, and empty. Longing for more, but feeling too afraid and unworthy to speak up and ask. Honestly I’d spent so much time in my people-pleasing role that I had no clue what I really wanted and needed.
It wasn’t until I took a deep dive into yoga in my first 200-hour yoga training that I learned to trust my inner wisdom and to listen to the voice inside me that had been suppressed for so many years. Many people experience this same thing when they decide to take a yoga teacher training. It often leads to making big, life-changing decisions as you finally find your authentic voice.
For me, it led to first leaving my school teaching career of 13-years which was no longer bringing me joy to eventually leaving my 18-year marriage which had been broken for way too long. I realized that those stories no longer fit who I’d become and it was finally time for me to step up, grab the damn pen, and start writing a new one with me as the AUTHOR and HEROINE.
And I tell you what, it was scary as heck! It was painful. It was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done…AND absolutely THE VERY BEST thing I’ve ever done and I haven’t looked back since!
Now I know that I can trust my intuition, that I can do the hard things, say the vulnerable and uncomfortable words, and that right on the other side of feeling fearful is a magical land of new opportunities to shine even brighter!
So, my friend, are you read to grab the damn pen and take ownership of your story? Are you finally sick and tired of feeling like the victim, the co-star (or maybe even just an unpaid extra) in your life story?
It all begins with a choice.
Need some love and support as you take a big, bold step into the unknown and this new chapter of your life? I’m here for you. As a Life Reinvention Coach it’s what I do. And I do it really, really well. Let’s co-create your most amazing life story. What are you waiting for?
What are you planning to do with it? More of the same old, same old? OR are you ready to turn up the heat, get a little uncomfortable and create a new life chapter that has you excited to get up to face each new day ahead?
To get the ball rolling, today I’m sharing with you my TOP 5 Favorite Intention Setting Questions that I use with my clients and groups to jump start the manifestation process. So grab a notebook and a pen and get ready to tap into some Universal ABUNDANCE!
MY TOP 5 INTENTION SETTING QUESTIONS:
Once you’ve taken some time to journal a bit, then re-read your thoughts and see if there is one WORD or a few that really sums up what you want to focus on.
I highly recommend taking it to the next level and making a VISION BOARD for your year. You can do this “old school” style (my personal preference) using poster board, old magazines, stickers, markers, etc to craft a visual representation of what you are focusing on; or you can create one virtually that you can then print out.
www.Canva.com has a great, free one you can try if that’s more your speed.
You see, it’s really easy to fall back into our old habits without a constant reminder of what we are seeking to change. I always keep my Vision Board in a place where I know I’ll see it every day. And I make a point of sitting down to really look it over monthly to do a little check in and refocus my energy and attention.
My BIG Intention word for this year is EXPANSION. I want to apply this theme to all aspects of my life - expanding my retreats, expanding my coaching business, expanding my connections, expanding my personal relationships, and expanding my self-care practices. I can’t wait to sit down next weekend with a group of friends and start crafting a brand new, magically powerful Vision Board!
So, what are you ready to MANIFEST, my friend? I’d love to hear your plans and see if there’s a way I can support you in making them a reality! How about adding “try coaching” to that intention list? You are at least 80% more likely to success when you have someone supporting you, holding you accountable and cheering you on. Let’s hop on a discovery call and see if coaching is a good fit for your 2023 plans!
Meet Mary Baker ..LIFE COACH, YOGA TEACHER, MINDFULNESS GUIDE, RECOVERING PERFECTIONIST & PEOPLE PLEASER, FEAR CONQUEROR, TRUTH SEEKER, & DREAM WEAVER