Mindfulness for Grief & Loss

By definition, grief is a deep sorrow, often caused by someone’s death. But, we grieve many different types of loss – the loss of a relationship, a job or career path, an unrealized dream – can all be a source of grief.

This past year with covid, we have all grieved in our own ways and on multiple levels. Mindfulness can be a hugely helpful tool when experiencing grief in its many forms.

The process and pain of grief is complex, varied and very personal. How it shows up for us depends on so many factors. Our relationship with the person, people or things we have lost, the circumstances of those losses, the strength of our support network, and our personal and cultural attitudes towards death, dying, ending, and change – are just a few of the conditions that can influence our grief experience.
​
Mindfulness can be described as the felt sense that the mind, heart, and body are all connected in harmonious relationship with one another. Grief pops us out of alignment and can leave us feeling as if we are scattered or out of sync. Mindfulness pulls us back into the awareness of simple moment-to-moment sensory experience – feet on the floor, seat on the chair, the breath moving in and out – things that help to steady a racing mind or heavy heart. Once we feel settled in this space of mindfulness it’s like a dear friend is sitting calmly by our side, bearing witness to the moment with us.
When we can find this space and sense of observing our feelings and emotions, then we can consciously choose how we will care for ourselves in the moment, rather than reacting out of habit in ways that do not serve us.

“When pain is met with caring presence, something magical happens. The pain eases. It opens and unfolds like a bud in spring” – Oren Jay Sofer

A Heart Opening Practice for Grief

• Today, I’d like you to get a bit more comfortable for a heart opening activity. Now, I want you to take a moment to connect with a source of grief in your life. Again, it could be a loss of a person, a relationship, or any other change or loss that has been present in your life recently. Take a few breaths now to let that feeling come sit with you.
• Now, bring your attention to your heart space. Right in the center of your chest. Notice any sensations that are present there. Does it feel tight or spacious? Is it tender? Strong? Solid? Quivering? Observe the physical sensations with an attitude of caring awareness, not demanding that the heart feel any other way than how it does. Offer your heart your loyalty by demonstrating that consistency of your awareness.
• Notice the sensation of your breath right now. As you breath in deeply, allowing the space around your heart to expand fully. As you breath out, soften the heart space, relaxing any tension around it. Continue to notice the breath sensations as they change, imagining that your breath is ventilating the space of the heart.
• If you notice your mind wandering to worries or judgement, gently bring it back to your breathing.
• As you finish, take a moment to place your hands on your heart and acknowledge your bravery and kindness for being willing to make more space for your experience of your heart, whatever that may have been for you today.