As the CEO (and every other title holder) of Mary Baker Enterprises, or MBE, I wear A LOT of hats. This past weekend, and for the past few weeks, my primary hat has been in my role as nonprofit owner and executive while we prepped for and held a huge fundraising event Saturday night for 130 guests. In case you didn’t know, I co-run a local nonprofit called Be Well Therapy which specializes in Yoga for Cancer Recovery. Our event was a huge success and a whole lot of effort & energy which left me feeling a bit depleted the past few days.
And this week, I’m switching hats again. My focus for the next 3 weeks in on my upcoming Bay of Dreams Women’s Retreats I am hosting starting next Tuesday at a private residence south of La Paz on the Sea of Cortez. I’m holding back-to-back retreats for two groups of amazing women where they will be pampered for 5 days in paradise! My goal is for each of them to completely unwind, disconnect from the outside world, and reconnect with their true selves and each other. I want each of them to return home feeling different and ready to spread that new feeling into their everyday lives. So, I have a lot of prep to do in order to meet my goal! What that means, my friend, is that I’ve decided to do just what I want my retreat participants to do. For the next 3 weeks I’m taking a little hiatus from social media, newsletters, and my other hats so I can focus on creating a truly magical experience for my guests. I’ll be back in early November and look forward to sharing about my trip with you when I return! Perhaps it’s time for you to take a look at all those hats you are walking around in every day and decide to put down a few for at least a little while…your neck will thank you!
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“Quietly Quitting” Have you heard of this recent phenomenon in our workplace culture? It was introduced on TikTok by a 20-something engineer named Zaid Khan who basically defined it as “not outright quitting your job, but you’re quitting the idea of going above and beyond…You’re still performing your duties, but you’re no longer subscribing to the hustle culture mentality that work has to be your life.”
I heard this term lately from a client of mine and it really struck a chord with me. Why? Well, for a few reasons that I’ll touch on today. You see, as a Life Reinvention Coach, I’m all about helping my clients create a life that truly feels PASSIONATE and PURPOSEFUL. Basically a life they don’t feel the need to “quietly quit”. I want my clients to wake up every day feeling excited for what’s ahead. Feeling motivate to work towards their goals, immerse in a project, and truly enjoy the process of becoming an even better and more fulfilled version of themselves. Perhaps a bit of my recoil is simply the choice of words. “Quietly quitting” sounds so passive and defeatist. It feels like giving up instead of standing up for what you know is right and what is best for you. Now I get that there are a lot of jobs and bosses out there that will gladly suck the very life out of you if you let them. And I also totally understand that there are times of your life when you really truly just need a job, any old job to pay the bills. That’s just life. I’ve been there. I get it! So, how about we call it “Setting Healthy Boundaries” instead? Doesn’t that sound a whole heck of a lot more active and positive? What I know for certain is that this is an area that lots of people struggle with. Figuring out what is healthy for you and then standing up for yourself takes time and courage. It takes setting aside a whole lot of fear stories in order to do what’s best for YOU. It’s all about BALANCE, my friend. Healthy boundaries ensure that you are not giving too much of yourself and ending up feeling depleted, frustrated, unhappy, and like quitting (quietly or not so quietly…). It’s also all about finding GRATITUDE for what you do have (even if you currently hate your job). Yes, I said that. And it is possible. You see, if you are starting each day with a mile long list of the things you don’t like about your job (your relationship, your life…whatever it is that isn’t going well), then your NEGATIVITY BIAS is waking up to a big unhealthy breakfast of self-perpetuating negativity. Not the recipe for a happy, successful day or life. So, try this. Make a list of all the GOOD THINGS. It might simply be 1) I have a job, 2) I get a paycheck, 3) I am contributing to something…and so on. Even on the worst of days, you can wake up and find something to put on this list! And keep adding to it throughout the day. Purposefully look for the good. AND, if you truly are not happy doing what you are doing, then start the process of finding something MORE - more satisfying, more purposeful, that you are passionate about!! Even if you feel stuck in the mud of life, there is a way out and it starts with YOU making a choice. Do you see why “quietly quitting” just goes against everything I believe in and stand for? Don’t check out of life, my friend! You are here to grab life and squeeze every last drop of goodness out. You are here to make this world a little better. You deserve to wake up each and every day feeling grateful, truly alive, and excited for the next step ahead of you! And I’m here to support you every step of the way!! It's October 3rd, my friend…You now have 1/4 of 2022 left! That’s 3 months or 90 days. Don’t panic! That’s plenty of time to get back on track and crush another goal, create a new habit, or let go of an old one. What are you going to do with the rest of your 2022?
If you have one, take a look back at your Vision Board or revisit your plan you’d created for this year and see what’s still hanging that you haven’t had the time (or energy or motivation) for yet. If you didn’t start the year off with a plan, then MAKE ONE! Pick something that feels do-able and maybe a little bit of a challenge, too! Then grab yourself a piece of paper, poster board, or your computer and put that goal BIG AND BOLD right at the top. Next, I want you to do a little brain dump of all the things you could do in the next few weeks to meet that goal. Small, achievable steps that you can take week by week. It’s good to do this just on a scrap of paper or a blank word document. Just get all the ideas out in no particular order. Then, look over those ideas and pick the top 5 or so that you need to start with and add those to your official 2022 4th Quarter Plan. Read it over and ask yourself how that feels. Does it look like a solid plan that you can stick with and not get overwhelmed? Does it meet the goal you are trying to accomplish? What needs to shift in your life to make it happen? Do you need to carve out more time? Do you need to ask a friend or your partner for help? Or, perhaps, you’re ready to LIGHT A BIG FIRE and hire me as YOUR Life Coach! You see, I can pretty much guarantee you that by working with me you will not only crush that goal of yours, you’ll do it in record time! It’s been proven that you are 80% more likely to succeed when you have support and that’s exactly what a coach does. I’ll help you dial in on that goal, set weekly SMART goals, hold you accountable, cheer you on, and keep you on track to end this year and start your new year living your BEST LIFE! Feeling a bit lack luster? Like you are just drifting through life like a leaf in the wind? You know you are unsatisfied with what you are currently doing, but don’t have clue what else is out there for you? Or maybe you just feel like something is MISSING…
OK! Great! No seriously, that’s great news because today I’m sharing with you my Top Three Coaching Questions for tapping into your Life’s Purpose. Grab your journal and a pen and jot these down:
Take some time to sit with them and when you feel ready, jot down some answers. But before you start to write, remind yourself that these are just for you. That means there is no RIGHT or WRONG answer. Instead of thinking what SHOULD I write, ask your heart “what feels right to me?” If nothing comes up at first, that’s alright. Give yourself a few days to process the questions. This is probably the first time in your life you’ve been asked this kind of stuff! Now your answers at first might feel a bit random and unrelated to anything really “purposeful”. But the key is to figure out what you are passionate about and what your gifts are and THEN we can start to work some magic in the Life’s Purpose department. Ready to dive in and start adding a whole lot more Purpose and Passion to your daily life? I’m here for you! Let’s get on a Discovery Call and get you ready to live your best life! Seriously, how are you doing taking care of YOU? Your mind, body & soul. Your Number ONE Person on the planet. Yes, that’s YOU! Oh, you thought that was your kid, your spouse, your dog, & your best friend?? If you’ve been putting yourself last on the list (or maybe not even making the list) of things to get done and people to take care of, then I want you to STOP EVERYTHING and keep reading. Even if you feel like you’ve been doing a pretty decent job, I have a feeling today’s Monday Meal will be good for you. We can all use a little more goodness in our lives! I read a quote recently from an unknown source that really spoke to me. I spent SO much of my life waiting on those darn flowers. Expecting others to do for me what I really needed to be finding for myself. Placing my happiness in other people’s hands and hearts and constantly feeling disappointed when they didn’t magically do or give me what I was hoping for.
Sound familiar? I was constantly seeking validation and adoration from outside sources when inside I felt insecure, unworthy, and unlovable. And, when you feel that way on the inside, no amount of flowers, kind words of praise, or affection can make you feel whole. I’d spent so many years wearing masks to hide my true self for fear of not being enough just the way I am. I became a rigid perfectionist in how I presented myself and then grew into a big time codependent in how I attached myself to others. I was completely lost. It took me a long time to finally start to see my worth and to love myself for who I am. The journey began on my yoga mat. It was the place I found where I could simply be present with ME. Where I could ask the question, “Who am I?” and start to really listen to my little inner voice that had been shoved down for so, so long. I learned that I am so much more than just this physical body I inhabit and that my true value and worthiness has nothing to do with the size of my thighs, the color of my eyes, or what I’m wearing. I learned to speak to myself with kindness and compassion and to give myself grace. I learned that truly at the end of the day, I am my Number One Person and I deserve all the goodness life has to offer. Are you ready to turn up your Self-Love dial? Ok then grab a pen, or some colorful markers and a few sticky notes and let’s do this!
Well hello there, my friend! Thank you to all who recently took the time to share some feedback with me. I’m listening! I have decided to pivot the Sunday Snack and introduce you today to the Monday Meal! The Monday Meal is a wholesome and nutritious way for you to start you week and stay inspired, productive and accountable throughout anything life throws at you!
Each Monday morning you’ll find a new MEAL for the week loaded with helpful life hacks, wisdom, challenges, freebies, and a whole lot more. Plus, I’ll still be sharing a monthly Sunday Snack at the end of each month that will include My Favorite Things like books, shows, and of course TASTY RECIPES for you to enjoy and share! Ok! It’s time for a TRUTH BOMB 💥Today’s MEAL is one of the most important and life changing lessons I have ever learned. Read on to learn how you can apply it to your life, too! You might have heard me say a time or two that I used to be a MASSIVE overthinker. And not only did I overthink, I also believed that every single thought that popped into my head was true. I mean, it’s my brain. Shouldn’t it be feeding me the whole truth and nothing but the truth? I spent a lot of years believing the stories in my head, the suggestions others planted there for me, and the messages that were fed to me by the media and society at large. As a result, I lived a life based in fear, comparison, and feelings of inadequacy. Sound familiar? So what changed? Well, as with so many of the transformations that have happened in my life, today’s truth bomb came to me on my yoga mat. Now I can’t recall the specific moment or message that led to this life changing realization. Perhaps it was more of a process of discovery, a stripping down of old ways that led to being more open and receptive to a new way of being. Whatever it was or where it came from, it was for sure one of those mind blowing moments of my life. I know for sure it was rooted in the yoga teaching that says basically “Yoga is the quieting of the fluctuations of the mind”. It’s referred to as “mind stuff” (Chitta vritti) and by practicing yoga (breathing, movement, meditation) we can learn to quiet the fluctuations and in doing so find wholeness. This concept teaches us that we are SO MUCH MORE than our mind. When we identify with the fluctuations of the mind, life can feel like a roller coaster ride of madness. When we identify so deeply with our mind states, we often end up acting out these thoughts through our behaviors. When we do yoga, and practice meditation, we become the witness to these fluctuations, rather than identify ourselves with them. We learn through observation that thoughts are fleeting and transient. In other words, they’re not really true. “The wiser you get, the less you take your mind seriously”- Maxime Lagace So, how you can apply this life changing knowledge? It all starts with NOTICING. Begin to notice your thoughts more often. Then, take time to slow down and notice your breath. Your breath is the magic key to pulling your awareness out of your busy, busy mind. Once your awareness is rooted in your breath, notice the mind again. And, because your brain LOVES to have something to do, feed it a short and simple MANTRA. I am present I am not my thoughts Inhale, exhale It doesn’t need to be fancy. Just simple to repeat. The objective is to interrupt the thought pattern and find a more peaceful state of being. From that place, you are way more equipped to then make a choice. Which thought to follow, which thought to ignore, how to respond instead of react. When you come to life from a place of peace and connection, this is where you realize that you are SO MUCH MORE THAN YOUR MIND. Give it a try this week! Whenever you find yourself overthinking, stressing out, reacting, and riding the roller coaster - STOP and take 5 long, slow breaths. Repeat your mantra, place your hands on your heart, and listen. I mentioned in last week’s Snack that this week would be full of easy ways to simplify your daily life. Are you ready? I know I am!
I was inspired to dive into this topic by one of my busy, busy, single mom & entrepreneur clients who chose the word SIMPLIFY as her focus word for the next few months. She realized that she was making life way too complicated and busy and it was taking a toll on both her personal health, her business, and her relationship with her kiddos (when mamma is stressed…everyone is stressed!) Purity and simplicity are the two wings with which man soars above the earth and all temporary nature” - Thomas a Kempis Here are my Top 10 Ways to SIMPLIFY your daily life:
Ok, now I suggest you pick one category that feels like your most out of balance area and focus just on that for the next few days or week. Once that’s feeling more SIMPLIFIED, then pick another. Take positive steps each week to declutter your life and I guarantee you’ll be feeling much lighter real soon! f you answered “Yes”, don’t worry, you are not alone out there! Those feelings creep up for me now and then, too. And what I’ve come to realize is that sadly a lot of that feeling is simply due to the busy, busy lives we are living. Most people are over obligated, over worked, and just doing the best they can to get from day to day with very little bandwidth left for anything outside of their immediate bubble. They barely take the time to check in and listen to themselves let alone having the energy to do that for others. Sound familiar?
It’s a bit ironic, because I feel like we were almost doing a better job at connecting during the pandemic than we are now as life resumes it’s “normal”, hectic pace. For me personally, I’ve been dealing with the feelings of loss and disconnect from a lovely group of women who all came together to practice yoga with me during Covid, but who are now heading back out and into their “new normals”. What I remind myself when those feelings come up is that everything ebbs and flows in life. I focus on the lovely connections we did make with each other and the knowing that even though we aren’t together as often, the love we have for each other is genuine and we truly are a “tribe” of sisters. So how do you maintain those feelings of connection? How do you ensure that the people you truly do care about aren’t feeling unappreciated or invisible? It takes effort, but not a lot! Here are a few ways you can become a great connector, listener & overall fabulous human being:
Sound good, but feeling a bit overwhelmed by life? Never fear! Next week I’ll be hitting you with my tips for SIMPLIFYING your day to day life. Hint…it starts with the word “No”… Have a lovely week, my friend! Ok! Start connecting! Yes, it’s Monday…but I decided to give myself a little grace yesterday and not stress out about getting this out to you on time. Hey, a little positive snack is good any day of the week, right? So here’s your Monday Snack and a great reminder to start the week off on the right foot by being kind to yourself! It’s August 8th…you have 147 days of 2022 left…
Not to stress you out or anything, but did you realize that 2022 is more than half gone already? I was thinking about this as I took a good look at my Vision Board I created for this year back in January. I was looking at all the words and images I filled my board with and taking stock of how I’m doing in the manifesting department so far this year. What I noticed when I looked at all those lofty dreams and ambitions I set for myself was that I’m doing a pretty dang good job! Is it all done? Nope. Have I changed course on a couple of things? Yep. And that’s OK! Because I still have 147 days to keep moving forward in the direction of my dreams. What I’m celebrating today is that my TOP TWO items - Travel Well” & “Retreat” - are off the charts in the manifesting department. So far this year I’ve taken some of the most amazing trips of my life AND this Friday I leave on yet another one (Costa Rica here we come!). Plus, not only did I lead a truly life changing Women’s Retreat this past January, I’m heading back to the same location with not one but TWO groups of women this October/November for back-to-back Retreats at the Bay of Dreams. Oh, and did I mention that I’ve got a Retreat to BALI booked for next July??? I’m sharing all this with you today because I want to remind you that YOU CAN DO AMAZING THINGS, TOO!! It all starts with a VISION, an INTENTION, and a PLAN! Are you feeling like the first 219 days of 2022 have been a bit lackluster? Is there still so much you’d like to reach for, but you just don’t know how to get started? Have you convinced yourself that those dreams just aren’t for “someone like you”? Well, my friend, I’m here to bonk you on the head with a little Life Reinvention Coach kind of reminder… If you can dream it, you can do it! (thank you Walt Disney for that one!) Oh, and I’m here to help if you need a bit of encouragement, guidance, and motivation. It’s what I do! See you next Sunday for your regularly scheduled Sunday Snack! Why aren’t we running like we’re on fire toward our wildest dream?
Take a moment and sit with that one, my friend. What is holding YOU back? I saw that quote pop up on Instagram the other day and it really stuck with me. You see, even though I’ve been on fire the past few years really and truly pursuing my dream life, I still find myself at times letting that flame die down into just a nice, cozy sit-by-the-fireplace-sipping-tea-doing-nothing kinda flame… Which is why so many of us end up getting stuck. It’s comfortable. At first it’s a warm and cozy kind of comfort. Then, when we start to feel like there’s something else we are really longing for, it becomes a bit more quicksand-like. Slowly sucking the life and desire out of us bit by bit. The getting out of the cozy, desire dampening place is a lot of WORK, though. And it’s legit SCARY. My overthinking mind can easily come up with at least 10 different scenarios for how things could go wrong. So instead maybe I’ll just stay right here and numb my mind with social media, Netflix, or cleaning out my sock drawer if I’m feeling like I need to be “productive”. You see, your brain and your nervous system are hard wired to keep you safe. Your instinct is always going to be to protect what is, even when what is no longer serves you. This is why we stay in the long overdue for a breakup relationship, job, friendship, bad habit, or place. At least we know what to expect there and we’ve gotten so comfortable with it that it seems “Ok”. We adapt, we adjust, and we learn to tolerate the intolerable. I’ve done this exact thing time and time again in my life. The expired marriages, the soul-sucking jobs…I’ve had my fair share. So how do I get unstuck? You ask… As with any scary thing you try for the first time, that first leap is always then most terrifying. But once you leap, you feel the RUSH of joy and freedom that were waiting just on the other side of fear. You realize that you are way the heck more capable and strong than you gave yourself credit for. And after doing it a few more times you start to love that feeling of fear mixed with excitement. That’s exactly how I feel now every time I roll back into the water with a scuba tank strapped to my back. It’s that euphoric rush combined with the knowing that what I’m about to do is going to be truly magical that keeps me craving more. I’ve literally re-wired my brain and my old fear story that I used to have about the ocean and all of the scary things that live there. And the more I flex that muscle the easier it gets to use it for whatever new fear story pops up in my life. I have finally learned to TRUST MYSELF and the Universe and to be ok with that temporary feeling of uncertainty. It’s in that space of not knowing that the most magical transformation can occur if you can only be ok with being pretty uncomfortable for a limited period of time. Not sure if are ready, but the idea sounds pretty intriguing? All it takes is one thought that leads to one small step. As a Life Reinvention Coach it’s my job to help you figure out those thoughts and steps along the journey to your DREAM LIFE. I’m here to help you find your inner GPS and then to hold you accountable along the path. When the roadblocks appear, I’m here to help you navigate around them. And when you have your first, and second, and 10th success - I’m here to CELEBRATE with you! Yes, it is seriously rewarding work I get to do and it’s that reminder of how much I love it that keeps me from getting too cozy along my journey. |
AuthorMeet Mary Baker ..LIFE COACH, YOGA TEACHER, MINDFULNESS GUIDE, RECOVERING PERFECTIONIST & PEOPLE PLEASER, FEAR CONQUEROR, TRUTH SEEKER, & DREAM WEAVER Archives
February 2023
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